No Regrets, Just Love

We always tell ourselves we would’ve known better.

No, life doesn’t work like that. I believe, “everything happens for a reason.”

You may not understand things by now, but soon enough…

There will be some point in our lives where we’ll get to remember things and wish we could go back to these days and change them. Regrets happen and you have to acknowledge that. Maybe, what we don’t realize is that our lives depend on how we respond to certain situations. Our lives greatly depend on our choices and decisions. We all commit mistakes but that doesn’t mean we have to keep repeating them. One mistake should be a reminder, it should serve as a lesson to do better and be wiser along the way in the path we will take.

I’ve always lived a life full of regrets. I’ve grown to be independent. Back when I was in kindergarten, I went to school all by myself. Even when I was in grade school, I had no parents to take me to school and fetch me. I have to walk and ride a cab on my own. I’ve always been independent. I learn and do things on my own. I have this habit of not asking for help from anyone. I can manage on my own. I figure things out on my own because I got used to doing it.

When I was in high school, I experienced so many things and ticked off goals from my bucket list. I went through and surpassed things on my own like I’ve always been. I’ve conquered heartbreaks and problems without my loved ones knowing about it. Now that I am in college, I thought it would always be the same. This is the time where I’ve told myself, I could’ve known better, but what else can I do? It’s now or never. I have to compromise and sacrifice because life’s not the same for me anymore. College really made me regret a lot and I wasn’t ready for all the self-doubts and anxieties, tears and challenges.

Now that my first semester in college is almost over, I want to share these top five tips and leave you pieces of advice that I wish I could’ve given my old self during the first day of classes or my pre-college self/pre-freshman life:

1. Do not act based on impulse. – I always hear this from my friends and I always tell my friends about this but I can’t even apply this to myself. One thing I’ve later realized after entering college is to not make important life decisions just because you are excited or sad, or purely based on emotions. Just because it makes you happy, doesn’t imply that you go for it. You have to think of the decisions you will make over and over again. Remember to not act based on impulse. You’ll have less regrets if you make personal decisions carefully.
2. Not all opportunities are meant to be pursued. – A once in a lifetime opportunity or a knock in the door is not a guarantee of success and happiness. No matter what happens, go back to your reasons, to your original plans. Not everything should be grabbed. Doesn’t mean it’s great for someone, the same will be for you. We all have different situations in life. Just because it’s smooth-sailing for others, doesn’t mean it is also for you. Some sail through the oceans or seas by boat and paddle while some are riding yachts. Think about your intentions well and what you want to achieve at the end of the day. It’s not the lives of others that dictate the life you will be living. Keep this in mind: Even if it’s difficult for you, for as long as it’s making you happy and lets you sleep peacefully, go for it!
3. Stop comparing yourself to others. – Remind yourself that a little progress is still progress. Before you enter the battle, prepare yourself for the long days and the sleepless nights. We all work on things differently and you are a work in progress. Do not be too hard on yourself just because others are doing better than you. Your time will come, take it slowly, and celebrate the little things.
4. Be patient and always trust the process. – Even if things aren’t working the way you want them to be, be prepared and be patient. Understand that in college, you’ll go through many challenges and you’ll have a lot of expectations for yourself, but don’t push yourself at the edge of the cliff. Trust the process and soon, things will work their way out and everything will be in your favor.
5. Enjoy every moment. Do not forget to rest. – Whatever there is to come, enjoy every second and every minute of it. Enjoy the process. There will be pain and suffering, but you won’t leave without a degree so be kinder to yourself. After all the work, do not deprive yourself of rest and breaks. Do not forget to take care of yourself. Your well-being must be the top-priority in this journey.

There’s no use to regretting. We have started from the bottom, now we’re here. Love yourself more and may you continue to grow by grace through faith. We only live once so make every second count. I hope you’ll take all of these lessons later on in your journey. Forgive yourself if you haven’t known better. You’ve come this far because of you. You are the reason behind everything. Great job!

If DevCom has 4Es, I also have mine but 4Ps, which stands for: Pag-andam, Pahulay, Padayon, Paglambo which means in English, “Prepare, rest, continue and move forward, succeed.” Padayon para sa atong mga puhon! Fighting!

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A post shared by Maura Abellanosa (@mauradei)

This photo was captured a month before I entered college. “Back when everything was fine.”

Whispers to the past

WEEK 10 ENTRY FOR DEVC 11 WEEKLY WRITES

5 Things You Need To Know Before the Semester Starts

Based on my experience

Five I wish I did at the time

Listen to my week 10 entry podcast wherein I share five tips or advice that I hoped somebody said to me four months ago.

0913 From.911

Sa nakalipas na quarter ng aking pag-aaral ng DevCom courses, tulad ng aking nabanggit sa week 5 blog ay hindi ito naging madali para sa akin. Marami rin akong bad study habits na aking nabitbit sa aking pag-uumpisa sa kolehiyo ngunit sa ilang buwan na pag-aaral ay may iilan akong napagtanto kung ano ang mga nararapat na ugaliin at sanayin upang maging balanse at maayos ang daloy ng aking buhay bilang isang estudyante.

Maging advance mag-isip

Bago pa man magsimula ang panibagong linggo, ugaliing magbasa ng mga ibinigay na slides, lectures, at iba pang modules o reading materials para mas madali na makasabay sa klase. Subukan ding gumawa ng drafts o outline ng activities para kahit papaano’y mayroon ka nang naumpisahan na maaaring dagdagan o kaunti na lang ang babaguhin pagkatapos ng talakayan.

‘Wag iasa ang lahat kay Batman

Huwag magpasa ng gawain na hindi pinag-isipang mabuti. Laging isaalang-alang ang rubrics ng bawat assessments at activities dahil ito ang pagbabasehan ng marka na iyong makukuha.

Kayang iligtas ni Batman ang taong babagsak mula sa building, pero ang marka mo hindi.

Pahinging sign, gagawin ko na ‘to

Ito na ang sign, sign na babagsak ka.

Hangga’t maaari ay gawin sa loob ng ibinigay na panahon ang mga gawain. Mag-isip ng mga positibong motibasyon, isipin mong deserve mong kumain ng isang pagkain na gusto mo o kaya bumili ng bagay na makakapagpasaya sa’yo matapos ang paggawa ng activities. Isipin mo rin ang kahahantungan ng hindi mo paggawa agad ng mga gawain.

Ang sign ay maaari mong mahintay, ngunit ang deadline ng gawain mo sa canvas at gclass ay hindi habang buhay.

‘Wag mahihiyang magtanong

Kung lubhang nahihirapang unawain ang isang aralin o gawain, ‘wag mahihiyang magtanong sa iyong kaklase dahil may ritemed para riyan! Ika nga nila, “Walang mangyayaring himala kung paiiralin ang hiya.” Hindi mo kailangang sarilinin ang lahat, minsan kailangan mo rin ng tulong ng iba.

Mag-notes ka naman

Kapag nagsasagawa ng advance reading, take some notes!

Kapag nasa klase at mayroong discussion, take some notes!

Kapag may consultaion, take some notes!

Kumuha ng papel at panulat, mag-notes nang sa gayon ay madaling matandaan at maunawaan ang mga aralin. Isulat ang mga mahahalagang detalyeng ibinabahagi ng iyong prof na maaaring wala sa mga babasahin.

Alam ko at naiintindihan ko na maaaring napagod ka sa sitwasyon ngayong may pandemya na sinabayan pa ng mga personal na problema kaya para bang you lost in track, ngunit hindi nito ma-jujustify ang mga kamalian at mga pagkukulang mo sa pag-aaral.

Wala namang masama kung uunahin ang sarili ngunit lagi mong tatandaan na para sa’yo rin naman ang pag-aaral mo sa kolehiyo. Hindi ganoon kadali ang pag-aaral lalo na sa sitwasyon ngayon, subalit kailangan mong piliting magpursigi sa abot ng iyong pinakamakakaya.

Sabi nga sa kanta ni Lady Gaga na 911, “My biggest enemy is me, ever since day one…”

Matagal na tayong magkalaban ngunit kung ito man nababasa mo nawa’y unawain at isabuhay mo ang bawat letrang nilalaman ng liham na ito upang hindi mo na maranasan kung ano ang dinaranas ko dahil sa aking kapabayaan.

Isang mahigpit na yakap sa’yo 0913, mula kay 911.

Dear, Marco…

Dear self. It has been a wonderful year, having the unexpected, experiencing the worst, being happy, whirlwind adventures and twisting scenarios, memories to go back.

As I see myself today, I wish I have done better. I wish that I could have been good to myself and to others. Since it’s my first year studying alone. No friends, any closely related, it is also hard to earn friends, and I am just a kid lingering around the corner of every Zoom meeting wishing for it to end because I can’t feel that this is school but just a meet and greet with the professors.

At this point of time, I wish to talk to my past self. The old Marco that used to be a fighter, conqueror and the one who fears no one. He, the one who made me where I am today and achieving all I am dreaming for. Here’s to you.

Get more sleep.

In this current times, typing this entry for my weekly writes, I fell sleepy. For I am always awake thinking of what’s next. I wish I could have given you peace of mind and not to worry of what will tomorrow brings to us. I have this quote of mine that says “You beat yourself everyday” because you are always waking up the next morning. But how can we wake up peacefully if all we have is a deep night thinking of sleepless thoughts?

I am concern of what you have exerted for in the previous years would come to nothing and that’s what keeps me awake from night.

Forget the past, move on.

As the semester is about to end, I’ve met new people in my life and I know that they will be by my side until the time I walk outside the school walking with my diploma. I guess, before the school starts, you shouldn’t have worried about the upcoming but enjoy the new environment. I know, we’ve been through a lot and this transition is too hard because we are to face new people and it is difficult to express ourselves on the strangers who didn’t know us at all.

We shouldn’t be afraid because if they really are eager to be with us, they will understand who you are, who we are. If you just kept yourself open since the beginning, I think, we have more interactions with them as well as how others are enjoying their freshie days.

Believe in yourself.

There are things that came up and you declined because as your reasons says, “Baka hindi ako magaling for that” and “Feel ko mas kaya ni ano“. But look at this microphone. This is when you earned something for your family because you believed in yourself. I wish you were like that at first so that we have experience great and we were more equipped before the semester started.

I guess, this diploma is an indication that you are one of the best. You are the best version of yourself. You’ve been fighting for your dreams for all of your life, why are you being frightened now? What’s blocking you from giving it all? This diploma says your name and what you have reached, a milestone indeed.

Think of today and not the future.

What you do today will depend on what will you have in your future. Work on what you have today and don’t think of what will happen tomorrow, because today is more important. Winning today means you have beaten your yesterday’s self, and we all love that. Don’t worry on what has the next sunrise will offer but worry more on what you have done and will reflect as the sun sets.

Be bright today, work today, give big today so that you will earn something tomorrow. Your mom is always proud of you, since the beginning. I know, you’re doing all of these for her and because of her you’ve been sleepless overthinking of the things that might or might not happen. But you should at least, practice focusing on the path you are on before thinking of the side stories that we are still assuming as of now.

Choose yourself.

Above all, be always there for yourself. I am always here with you and so should you. Do not think of going to another gala is a waste of time and money but if you are happy as you go home, then it’s worth it. What others’ thinking is not yours to take always. Before the semester, you’ve been working on your sidelines to earn money to help your parents but that doesn’t mean that you will not give yourself time.

Last December, I’ve been on so many places I wish you could have visited too. Don’t ever think of a “too much”, because as long as it makes you happy, who are them to judge.

I wish you could’ve seen the last sunset of 2021, where I left everything on that year, but not you. Because you are me before I entered UP. And I will still bring you on until the last day of my breath, telling stories to my kids, grandchildren, other UP aspirants, those people I will have a talk to, or even when I will visit my alma mater. Life will goes on, but you will remain within my identity, Marco before the first semester of academic year 2021-2022.

LIFE GOES ON

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Shout out to the old me

To the old me,

If I could turn back the time, you should’ve hoped for the best, and prepared for the worst. We didn’t see this coming, but now we’re here, there’s no turning back. So, I give you this letter for you to be reminded that you should always be prepared and that you are always loved. 

To the old me, I hoped that you practiced writing. 

Since I have no major writing experience, like competing for school journalism, it’s hard for me to produce a quality piece of writing. Essays are torture for me. I can’t think peacefully when I’m writing. I can’t organize my thoughts, resulting in a chaotic piece of writing. So if you’re an aspiring media writer, start practicing writing before the first day of school starts. Trust me. It’ll help in your devcom courses, as there is a pile of exercises waiting for you. 

To the old me, I hoped you build connections.

Connections are important when entering college. But as a freshie, it’s normal to be shy since it’s a new journey. Except that my shy self didn’t leave me for months. It didn’t allow me to grow and build connections with my coursemates. The more connections, the merrier! But thanks to my super classmates (as we call each other because we almost have the same schedule), who initiated to be friends with me, and they were my first friends at college. Shout out to Amanda, Marga, Bennard, and Ten! 

To the old me, I hoped you trusted yourself.

Trusting ourselves is one of the most important things that we should do in our lives. It allows us to be more confident and allows other people to trust you too. If I trusted myself, it’ll be much easier for me to make decisions, and reduce the stress on acads. So, next time you make a choice and stick with it. Even if it turns out not to be the best choice, there’s no use beating yourself up over the decision you made.

To the old me, I hoped you didn’t go with the flow. 

Going with the flow is a big NO habit. Doing this means you didn’t give yourself a chance to be able to grow. You let things happen and let other people tell you what to do, rather than trying to control what happens with your life. Be a strong, independent woman! 

To the old me, I hoped you haven’t been too hard on yourself. 

Other people expect me to be too good. Having high expectations is a sign for me to pressure myself. But putting too much is bad. Academic validation is a thing for me. But now, I realized that you should be taking care of yourself. Prioritize being you. You are not building yourself for other people, but for you, and only you. Reward yourself sometimes. 

Go pat yourself, Camille! 

I hope that the wishes you want for yourself come true. Padayon! 

From me, to you

Be the person you needed when you were younger.

Ayesha Siddiqi

Being kind to yourself when you’re alone can be tough. I have read somewhere that if people talked to your loved ones the same way you talk to yourself, you would be mad. That is if you talk to yourself rashly. I suppose they’re right.

I would admit that there are days (maybe even weeks) that I would only measure my worth depending on how much work I can put in a day and placing my self-confidence at a pedestal by setting academic merit as a parameter for being enough and worthy. Even if it was the parameter set by society, it is wrong to let it define you. Growing up also meant learning from your mistakes and taking into your heart what would work best for you. There is a spectrum of things I learned, but here are the things I want to remember:

Ask yourself, “what do I need most right now?” 

Attending to your needs can seem like such a huge step. What I know for sure is that taking care of yourself first does have to come first before anything else. You wouldn’t be able to be your best self if you let yourself down and be unacknowledged. Doing this also helps you untangle the chatter and priorities back in line.

Make friends, but don’t force it. 

Transitioning to a different season can be a hopeful but challenging journey. Having friends made me look at things differently, thinking it was only a transaction, not a connection. If you find yourself struggling to make friends, maybe start small. You don’t have to be friends with everyone all at once. This way, you can still have a company that can extend solidarity during hard times.

Brainstorm ideas during your free time. 

The shower and the walk home are probably my favorite places to be alone with my thoughts. Great conversations are formed through monologues, weird ideas turn to somewhat creative pursuits. It is simply a good way to let your mind wander and be experimental.

Be like Mirabel.

Disney Encanto’s Mirabel gave me a lot of perspective on how I can be more of service to others without them seeing me as a person paired with such talent. There is more to life than being talented. You can be hardworking, passionate, kind, and light. You just have to brave it and show up. 

Ask for help. 

Admitting to myself that I need help was probably one of the greatest ego crushers I have ever encountered. Growing in an environment where you don’t typically rely on others to help you can change the way you see acts of service. There is no shame in asking for help. If you need it, the first step is to ask. The world is kind enough.

Sit down and listen

Writing for this week’s blog gives me remorse for the things that I should have done earlier this college. Even so, I am thrilled to self-reflect and remind myself of what has been lacking in me. Straight off, here are the five pieces of advice that I wish the old Ken used as soon as his first day in UP.

Tenor.

Do not waste time!

Leaving the tasks for later won’t ease your burden rather will just consume you. So, I advise doing the tasks right away to keep up in time and not drown with the requirements. Never be fooled by the long deadlines as they only contribute to your idleness. Moreover, watch out for your tasks because they are only manageable at first until they pile up rapidly.

Tenor.

Organize your thoughts  

A clear mind thinks better. Overthinking your academic responsibilities will just stun you and leave you no progress. So, keep calm and start little by little for a streamlined mind works better than an overloaded one.

Tenor.

Stop Comparing

Understand that everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Comparing your works to others will just add pressure on you, and worst, drag your confidence down. You need to be self-aware of your capabilities and focus on your progress. At the end of the day, what matters is that you learn and improve yourself.

Tenor.

Trust the Process  

The hard way is the easy way. There will be times where you will question yourself if sasablay or sasablay. In times like this, you have to trust the process. You are in a pedagogy where the struggle is relative. All you need to do is to take your time and be patient with yourself for you are getting there.  

Tenor.

Eyes on the Prize

Always think of the reward. With our current situation, it’s easy to be burnt out. And so, we need to recalibrate ourselves and find that inspiration to keep on going. It could be a Latin honor, the “Sablay,” or even a relative improvement in one’s skill. The point is motivating ourselves to keep on track and finish what we are doing.